It all starts with desires. In sales, the desire is to make people’s lives easier, to leave a mark and eventually make a profit. In pickup, your drive is to procreate and to satisfy your relational needs. You want sex, affection, support, and security… one of them or all of them combined. The other is the only one with the ability to satisfy your needs. They can either accept or reject your advances. You are at their mercy and that is why rejection hurts. You make yourself vulnerable through the act of proposing. You face uncertainty and being out of control, a thing our brain utterly hates. This is where the inner game begins. You have irrational limiting beliefs chaining your ability to perform. To do well in pickup, the first step is to have a balanced self-image.
Imposter syndrome: You feel you’re not good enough or that you don’t deserve good fortunes. You are not sure how others will receive your offer. “They’ll discover how impotent and fake I am”, you say to yourself. The reality is… you will always laugh at your younger self. There will never be a time when you will be perfect. You are inherently flawed and vulnerable and no matter how wiser you get, you will always make mistakes.
You should never stress about what people think of you. You see, people (especially women) rarely care about your inner struggles, the hard work you put in yourself, and they have no idea anyway. People (especially women) want a finished product. They have a need and they want your product (you) to satisfy it, and as the reciprocity principle dictates, people shall reward you back. If you know you can solve a need, or simply being better than the available, you are already good. Mind you that, everyone has their demons. The world cannot simply advance if each one of us allowed their fears to paralyze them. You know there is demand, and you have an offer. Put yourself in the spotlight and make things happen. Just do it. Because if you let your inner fear prevails, someone else will seize the opportunity and reap the rewards. You have nothing left for yourself but regret witnessing how the other who took initiative was not even as good as you are. This world depends on men who take action. Launch your product. Enjoy the progress. You can always make it better later.
Adaptive behaviors: your brain uses a variety of unconscious mechanisms and shortcuts to form beliefs. The problem is our primitive brain oftentimes overrides our rational brain, for survival is a priority above all else. By the mere perception of a threat, our mind picks the quickest adaptive response that proved itself safe in the past and goes with it. It is until we embraced the scientific method that humanity made huge leaps forward. The purpose of the scientific method is nonetheless to manage our internal limitations and biases. To become a great seller, to be a skilled seducer, you have to embrace boldness, novelty, experiments, data, and love feedback.
Your brain can only form decisions based on the blocks of information it already has. You cannot make queries about things you don’t know yet or use skills you lack. For example, if you are new to Game, you are more likely to search for something as “how to be funny around girls” “Do girls like X about men” instead of searching “Did women evolve to be solipsistic?” The second statement can only come from someone who advanced far in the learning process.
When you crack under pressure and you fail at something, your brain intervenes to protect your ego and self-image by creating rationalizations “I am not lucky” “I can’t…” “No one…” Then you start to look for supportive proof to reinforce your limiting beliefs. Once these limiting beliefs settle, you no longer want to make an effort to challenge them and you become lost.
I often ask my friends, “How should I make the sales page? What do you think about the promotional video?” unsurprisingly, everyone has an opinion and adamantly defends it. That is why we have analytics, metrics, and trackers. We use data to separate personal opinions from informed decisions. We submit hypotheses to trial and error. You don’t know what your visitors want until they interact with your sales page. You have an idea based on assumptions but you don’t know for sure. In other words, you don’t know what women want until you interact with them, many of them. You need experience and you need to know how to interpret your experiences. The continuous loop of deliberate practice and ameliorations forges new patterns of behavior. Your brain thus builds new and more successful adaptive behaviors. Then, you can default back to better and quicker mechanisms instead of your old destructive auto-responses. You start to do the right actions and you construct the perfect replies without prior thought.
Unexplainable success is not a blueprint of success. This happens often in normies land, a muscular dude gives training advice and every bro follows him. A skinny dude does the same and people be like “what do you know, look at you”. The Fallacy of Success in short. People tend to believe anything successful people say. I doubt successful people. I don’t buy their quotes about success and mindset and I am relatively successful myself. Success is something that happens to you. You can explain why it happens, you can demonstrate the work you did to reach it, but rarely can you replicate it. The closest analogy is a good break in Pool. The skill is there, the outcome is random. I can teach you the skill. I cannot teach the internalization of the skill. For every success story, there are thousands of failures, which makes successful people an aberration, not a rule. We overlook the sheer amount of failures in favor of the very little dots of success. We cling to false hope and we cherry-pick what feels good. Until you have all the varying factors at play, you cannot claim anything.
In short, one should never stress about the unexplainable success of competitors in any field. You cannot be someone else. What you can do is learn the gist from the best thinkers, model doers and refine the knowledge to suit your character. Think in terms of broad success. “I want quality girls in my life” instead of “I have a crush on this girl”. Narrow thinking is a one-way road that leads to pain.
Focusing on the big picture is how you increase conversions. How you excel in seduction. You build upon the qualities you already have and you minimize the impact of the qualities you lack. You maximize your potential and you become better in comparison to your old self not in comparison with others.
We invest a lot of our mental power talking about relationships. All think they are mavens on relationships and Good luck telling someone that maybe, just maybe, his or her understanding of relationships is incomplete. God forbid if they know PUA jargon and slept with two girls. Those lads think they know it all. Everything we know is prone to change and alterations including scientific discoveries. We should always be able to make tests and change our minds when new proof is available. Enjoy the Game. Always be in learning mode, be curious, and act clueless even if you can often predict the outcome.
I am perfect. You should change. “My product is perfect. I cannot believe you don’t see it. The problem is with you, the customer”. This does not hold any sense. You have to give people what they want, not change them to want what you have. If people visit your landing page and bounce, something is off with your page. If you approach women, and women reject your advances, yes! You lack some value that women want. I don’t do nice words here. I tell it as it is. People (especially women) only react to your positioning and mate value. Whether you want to pursue the puss or not that is a big topic for another day. For those who want to put the P in the V, hear this. If you are in the 99th percentile of intelligence or social disorders (NPD, BPD, autism…), you will find it difficult getting along with normies. No doubt, the world needs the misfits, those who change the world. It is also true; people sometimes don’t know what they want until you give it to them. However, women are a well-known and established market and all women are women. If you want to get what you want from people, and no man is an island –let’s not play bravado-, you need to embrace constant improvement. Responsibility is the unavoidable burden of men. Responsibility is the aptitude to take a risk and adapt. You are not perfect and you are not a victim. Yes! Man up but only do it for your interest and not for external expectations. Man up for your happiness, for your own life. For women or not for women is irrelevant because once you are great, women will notice and they will come after you.
Inner conflict: whenever you want to take initiative, you are going to face a conflict of mind. You want to avoid pain (social rejection). You are very likely to sabotage yourself if you don’t receive the expected rewards, and you are paralyzed by overthinking (guilty of this one). The only thing you should know is your brain wants the very best for you but without self-discipline, this mechanism backfires. You have to understand the language of your primitive brain so it listens. Get used to doing things against your comfort zone. This is the 21 century. Food, women, resources are abundant… life is so good people meme about world war. You are not going to lose anything. Competition for something means there are a market and a huge profit. In sports, whenever a new champion comes and raises the bar so high. Many top players emerge because of the competition. Many marketers online avoid dating and weight loss, “it’s where the big boys play, let me instead market whitening creams to this small niche of anal bleaching”. I say big risks, big rewards. Your brain hates pain but drools over a big rush of dopamine. You can never go back after you taste the nectar of victory. Every loss is worth it in the pursuit of glory. I want you to move past the issue of securing females to more important achievements. Make the best product for your buyer. Some will buy, some will not regardless and it is perfectly fine. By taking action, you make the world a better place for yourself and others. The universe depends on you.
I love doing crazy social experiments. I approached 300+ women on the street asking them one question, “Rate my looks”. The results were exciting, more so, the big similarity of infield pickup with cold approaching people online. Here is what I found.