In essence, the funnel (from her side) looks like this. Sometimes with slight variations.
From your side cold pickup looks like this:
The more skilled you become, the more you widen the bottom. Pun intended. The result varies depending on many varying factors. So how do you improve the conversion rate in the pickup funnel? We track the customer and we see in which phase we lost his attention and ultimately the sale. We diagnose the problem and we fix it.
Before the funnel: There are two ways to remove the fear of rejection: Disdain or Saturation. Disdain what you do not possess or get so much of it that it becomes no big deal. Disdain does not mean hatred, anger or make-believe. It simply means an attitude of indifference that comes from internal satisfaction. Being in a mental state where you feel no intrigue for people or things. Women generally misdirect men by telling them the opposite of what they deeply want. However, one thing they say, if looked from a different angle, holds truth. Don’t objectify women. When you see women as emotional animals rather than sexual objects or trophies you want to possess and protect, you will start to understand women’s narrative, the rules of their game and then you can play better.
Reaching saturation when you can’t even approach a girl is a catch 22. To break free from it is to break your limits and it only needs that first leap of faith. It all comes down to overcoming fear with exposure. On a larger scale, overcoming fear is about contemplating death and embracing it. If you have it hard getting the courage to approach women to a degree of anxiety, I suggest you go for exposure therapy sessions with a professional.
Awareness: sure not every woman will give you the benefit of the doubt. Not all women are interested in you for some reason or another and you should not care anyway. However, if you women give you zero chance for interaction often with nonverbal micro-aggressions. You get clear remarks about your hygiene, or you are hideously ugly. You should consider paying for a re-design. You did not win the beauty lottery. Life is not fair. That is a problem and what men do is solve problems. They do not complain about them. What could be more unattractive than an unattractive man? An unattractive man who complains. Get in shape, dress better, take care of your appearance, and if women’s validation is that important to you, get a damn surgery. Do what you must do. Everything is fair in love and war.
Discovery: if women genuinely interact with you without giving you a dismissive look. You have no “design” problem. When you make it here, you have no excuse. We only pay attention to things that interest us. The problem is you cannot hold a conversation and you fail women’s tests. You are a poor communicator and through the way you behave, you come off as weird, passive-aggressive, creepy and desperate. You have no value to offer her.
Socialize and calibrate touch. Learn about power moves, the appearance of power and reframing. Interact with women you find unattractive and make them laugh. Learn comedy techniques: misdirection, hyperbole, puns… if you end up as a servant to the girl, a friend aka a tool, an entertainer clown, even worse a feminist ally doing women’s bidding while thinking it will get you in their pants. You, my friend, have a nice guy syndrome. You are passive-aggressive and women will always see you as an orbiter, no more. If that is the case, you fucked up in this stage. You presented yourself to the girl in the wrong manner. She accepted you in her life in a way you didn’t like. You are stuck there forever and you are to blame.
To win the discovery phase is to have more positive energy and extend it to her. Energy means the capacity for doing work, the ability to transfer. To transfer nervousness to laughter, chaos to order, anger to relief and helplessness to self-love. When she acts with attitude and you assert your dominance, when she tries to hurts your ego and you demonstrate how her opinion doesn’t shake your identity… Your ability to lead a woman from a negative state of conflict to a more calm and serene state will make any woman adore you. This is the gist of 15 years of game. I have spoken.
Evaluation: women test to see what value you can offer them and men usually try to opt for some sort of “mating strategy” to secure a female. Here is what you can offer her:
Eros: your height is 1.09 her height. Your shoulder to waist ratio is 1.6 or closely around that. You have facial symmetry, a breathtaking smile, a wide jawline, and a mesomorph body. You are the 0.0001% of the world population. You can offer her sexual arousal. Your value is Eros. Now, reality check. Most people have a combination of “good” and bad physical traits. The more the merrier but rarely you will have them all. The crashing majority of people are plain looking and bland. Drop the fake reality you see on your phone and take a walk outdoors. You could count beautiful people on your fingers and that’s in a big city. Being good looking does not mean being objectively handsome. It means you are hotter than she is. She is up breeding with you and that is valuable to her.
Ludus: You can offer her fun, adventure, and thrill. People who pursue art, music, trips and dressing weirdly are unconsciously using this mating strategy. Court attention, be different and stand out. It intrigues girls, especially the younger ones. It is considered value by association. Females fuck artists even if they are broke because they might be a winning bid. If not, the broke wannabe can be a valuable entry ticket to a network of eligible men who have more genuine fame and status. You can be her platform to monkey branch to better alternatives. Just track any babe who dates a pro athlete or celebrity and you will find that she dated numerous low profile figures before him.
Pragma: you offer her care and provision. You are her workhorse. In legal words, her husband. She extracts utility (pragma) from you and for a small fee of signing a legally binding contract; she grants you (allegedly) exclusivity to her body.
Agape: You love her for real. She is your world and you would cry for the idea of losing her. You ease her pain and you stand with her amidst her problems. You sacrifice everything for her convenience beyond any measures of reciprocity. The most romantic tales and poems describe this form of love because men wrote most of the helpless romantic stories!
This kind of love is problematic because women can only feel agape for their children. Assuming your mom was not a psycho, the only pure love you’ll get from a female is the one your mother has for you. As a male, it is a tough state to find yourself in because within your deep psyche, you wish to ravish your one and only girl with your immense love. However, you will eventually get hurt. Women can never love you this way and that is the melancholy of love. The embodiment of this dynamic is the typical line you hear from women, “I didn’t like him at first, but once I knew him…” Sure, the girl will cherish your unconditional love and accept it but she will always be facing the internal instincts that urge her to fuck for Eros. I mean you are great and all, the best in the world but there is always that inner conflict in her heart. A hole inside her needs to be filled. Pun intended. She might find you attractive enough but she cannot settle with a broke dreamer. She “loves” you but in the end, she needs her pragma to feel secure. Feeling agape for a woman isn’t bad per se, it’s the best feeling there is. Know yourself and know your risks. Even better, use this to your advantage. Don’t get hurt. Okay.
Storge: You feel this bond with your kin. You feel it because you share DNA with them. The more DNA in common, the stronger the Storge you feel. Simple biology. “My brother and I against my cousin, my cousin and I against the stranger”. She does not share DNA with you. Being her ally, her white knight, her colleague who does her favors and opens doors for her so she can climb the social ladder is stupid. You are playing in her feminine imperative. She gives you the attention and societal approval but she also holds instinctual contempt for you. I always stand in awe when some cucked man doesn’t understand why his wife is denying him intimacy. Women don’t fuck men they don’t respect. Don’t be surprised that, when you treat a woman like a sister she treats you like a brother.
Philia: women and men cannot be friends. Period. Females do not share the burden of male disposability and the sexual tension is always present.
What women ideally and secretly crave is a relationship that starts with Eros (attraction), followed by Ludus (fun), grows to commitment (pragma) and ends up with agape (man sacrificing himself to her). It’s the plot of every successful movie made for women. My strategy with women is to mimic the appearance of wealth but only offering fun. That’s what works for me, go outside and see what works for you.
The last game hands you everything to know about gender dynamics. The shit tests women pull. The gimmicks they use to manipulate men and the tests you should do to them. There is much to say here.
Intent: Overcome last-minute resistance by appeasing… no! By setting boundaries. Hold your horses and make clear rules that you are never willing to negotiate. By showing salience, women can see that you have indeed the mindset and the strength of a reliable man. If you appease acting desperate to get in between her legs, you will instill doubt in her mind. If you always get last-minute resistance to sex, she makes you wait for it or if you have to negotiate sex at all, the girl is either setting the frame to make you a provider or using you while waiting for a better alternative to come. If you see the road leads to a dead-end, always cut your losses and move on. The desire to keep investing in the girl is the manifestation of the sunk cost fallacy. Always show to your customers that the sale is something they excitedly wanted not something you extracted. Give her the plausible deniability she needs and the investment will happen naturally.
Purchase: She did invest. Repay the investment with equal value. Don’t give her the world for it. Don’t stress about over-delivering. The game is all about fun and pleasure. Tit for tat. Women love that. Confident men do not overcompensate and feel no burden of performance.
Loyalty: Maintaining the girl means you have to always improve and keep her in check. Customer retention is the hardest part. Your customers want updates, novelty, better and even better. Women’s validation and affection have a cost. The fact that you have women in your life signals to other women that you have value. The more women you have, the more women desire you. If you have a hard time maintaining a girl, the simp inside you needs to die.
This was a simple tiny treat. There are many concepts in sales and marketing that apply to pick up. If you want to indulge in more ideas that are super delicious and more practical examples: Get the last Game. It is a life changer for men. It’s an easy read and it won’t cost you a leg and an arm.